Unemployed Guide to the Holidays.

Though I would make a nice guide for the holiday coming up in a week for all the Unemployed people like me.

The Dollar Store is the Unemployed persons best friend. You can find lots of useless crap at the dollars store. Like anyone will remember what you got them by next Christmas anyway. They won't remember whether you got them the $250 gift or the $1 picture frame.

Cheap Jewelery at Walmat. You can find some stuff there, sure it won't be that good stuff from a respectable place but at least if your girlfriend breaks up with you over it you didn't spend every much anyway.

Talking the Girlfriend into not wasting money on a tree. Best thing to do with this one if your going to be away for the holidays. Tell her your not going to be home for Christmas anyway so why waste your hard earned EI check on one.

Drink others beer as much as possible. When your visiting drink as much of their beer as you can. They are in a festive mood to start with and the more they drink the more you can drink of theirs.

Look for left overs. Always have one eye open for stuff left from Christmas supper. If your like me you get invited to about 5 or so over the holiday. There's nothing like free turkey sandwiches the next morning. They feel bad anyway because your on EI. Take advantage of this.

Eat more turkey at Holiday Dinner. You will stay full longer.

Rap your gifts in large boxes and give them out early. This will insure the friends and family think in there mind, that your dollar store gift is something cool. They will give you something better for your present.

Set a limit that you and your girlfriend will spend on presents. I like to set a budget of about $75 dollars. But make sure she knows it's alright if she wants to go over it. You set it and don't go over no matter what!

Make all your relatives know how hard up you are as you won't see them anyway the rest of the year. You may get some pity money out of it.

If your a redneck and ya know it....

Redneck that just won the powerball

Redneck Yacht

Redneck Wedding

Redneck Gingerbread Christmas House

Redneck Motorbike

Redneck Weather Station

Redneck Pet Carrier

Redneck Cat.